What a Child’s Behavior Tells Us

I loved reading this article in The Benton County Daily Record by Maren Schmidt.   Schmidt writes about knowing whether your child’s development is “on track.”

The most interesting part of the article for me was how to observe and learn from your child’s behavior.  Children long for structure and high expectations.  If they don’t receive consistent doses of these important parenting must-haves, they will deteriorate into unpleasant little beings.

Here is an excerpt of Schimdt’s article:

Behavior is, of course, a key component to our children’s development. In normal development, we should observe children who are joyful, pleasant, eager to please and connected to their families and homes. Two “emotional vitamins” for proper child development, recommended by Robert Shaw, M.D., are clear structure and expectations.

Shaw, author of “The Epidemic: The Rot of American Culture, Absentee and Permissive Parenting, and the Resultant Plague of Joyless, Selfish Children,” says that “excessive tantrums, persistent bedtime issues and aggression toward playmates” are signs that development is going awry in the 3- to 6-year-old. These behaviors are a cry from the child for the parent to take charge and provide clear family structure and expectations for behavior. If unacceptable behaviors are given in to and the child placated, you have started on the path to a defiant, unruly child. Left unchallenged, the child’s behavior will become more and more difficult to handle.

To read more… click here.

Concerned about my three-year old lining everything up

Question:

Should I be concerned that my daughter has autism?

My daughter is a bit over 3 and lines everything up in a row. Her blocks to the refrigerator magnets and she has always lined things up in a methodical manner. She talks just fine, she knows the alphabet, numbers and colors. She has met developmental milestones and has many times been ahead of the norm. Should I be worried about autism because she lines things up in a row?

Response:

It is natural to wonder about autism in the case of your daughter. Many times children with autism display these types of linear and anal behaviors but that doesn’t mean that just because your child is linear and anal she has autism.

Autism in its highest form is called Asperger’s Syndrome. These children are often very bright (higher IQ’s than normal) but function socially well below their peers. They often isolate themselves to engage in this type of linear or anal behavior. It somehow brings comfort to the angst going on in their brains. A child with Asperger’s Syndrome often times is angry and aggressive as well.

A child in the middle of the Autism spectrum wouldn’t have as high of an IQ and would exemplify a lot of inappropriate social skills as well as lots of crying outbursts and temper tantrums beyond the normal years for these types of behaviors. These children have delayed language development which creates a lot of frustration that produces the ill behavior and lack of social skills.

If your child has been meeting milestones for cognitive (academic), physical and SOCIAL/EMOTIONAL developments, then you have nothing to worry about. However, if your child is somewhat delayed socially, you should bring this to the pediatrician’s attention soon. Applied Behavior Therapy (also know as, ABA therapy) is incredibly good at reversing some of these poor behaviors and teaching appropriate social skills. However, if you wait too long the program becomes less effective. We have to catch our children with these problems before age five to make the biggest difference.

Find more information about autism at www.autismspeaks.org

Sincerely,

Tracey Bryant Stuckey

Chief Creative Learning Officer

www.wigglegigglelearn.com

http://traceybryantstuckey.com

Will my child be bored in kindergarten?

Question:

I have a 3.5 year old daughter.  I am a stay-at-home mom.  I have always put learning first in our home and she seems to be ahead of others her age or a little older.  Is the hard work and time I have invested in her education going to backfire when she goes to school?  Will she be bored and unchallenged?  I have friends who say they aren’t working as hard as I do because they don’t want their child to be bored.  I don’t want to think like them but I seem to be out-numbered every time this subject comes up.

Response:

Mediocre attitudes lead to mediocre lives!  You are making all of the right choices for your little girl.  Good kindergarten teachers are able to teach to an individual child’s needs and build forward on their strengths.  As a kindergarten teacher for 15 years, I cringed when parents would introduce themselves and their child to me that way.  Almost proud of doing nothing to make my life (as the teacher) easier, saying things like,  “Well… we didn’t want her to be a behavior problem and we didn’t want her to be bored in your class so we decided to limit how much we have taught her.” 

Barbaric and unbelievable, but yes… well within the norm for some parents -I see it as a “cop-out.”  They don’t know what to do so they do very little.  Enrolling their children in expensive extra-curricular activities that many times over stimulate little ones, overscheduled parents and the children and leave little time for developing the imagination, which is critical for optimal brain development. 

When the time comes and your little one goes off to school you will feel proud of your accomplishments and her love for learning.  If you believe the teacher will be appreciative of your child’s gifts and love for learning, then that is what you will receive. 

You will have a chance to meet with your child’s teacher prior to school starting.  You should share what you have been doing at home and where you think she needs more assistance.  Let the teacher know how willing you are to do extra activities at home.  Kindergarten teachers trust parents to offer lots of information that will support them in the classroom.  The transition is a difficult one for many five year olds, therefore we want to keep a certain sense of normal in their day.

Speaking for all teachers of young children, “we LOVE parents like you!”  You are providing a path for us to teach your child much more than we might have dreamed of teaching.  Kindergarten teachers like to (and, have to) teach more than the ABC’s and 123’s, buttoning, zipping, tying and washing hands. 

Today’s kindergarten is yesterday’s first grade.  Standards are higher and the No Child Left Behind act is making accountability tough.  I might suggest that your friends take a few hours to visit some kindergarten classrooms to see what kindergarten is really like. 

Good luck and bless you for your hard work!

Tracey Bryant Stuckey

Chief Creative Learning Officer

www.wigglegigglelearn.com