Is it normal for girls to learn faster and earlier than boys?

Question:

I have a 3 year old son and an almost 2 year old daughter. My little girl seems to know more and do more than my little boy even though she is 13 months younger. Is this normal for girls to be ahead of boys in development?

Response:

In early childhood, girls are often times ahead of boys. They potty train earlier and easier, speak sooner and with greater substance in their use of vocabulary and they typically play quieter and by themselves better. However, boys tend to catch up and surpass girls somewhere around third grade. If you were to compile a list of valedictorians and salutatorians in high schools around your area, I bet you would find only one in three or four are females.

Why is this? Mostly because teachers tend to teach to a child’s strengths which is clearly a love for active learning on the part of boys. The boys are naturally inclined to want to perform in math and science because it involves hands-on work. Girls in school, on the other hand, are typically pleasers. They are able to sit quietly and wait their turn. They complete an assignment exactly as it was prescribed because they are “pleasers.” Boys tend to add more creative flair to assignments, think outside the box because it is hard to keep even one foot inside the box and they receive more one-on-one assistance to stay on task. Girls are many times more attracted to getting the answers “right” and turning in assignments that are “pleasing to the eye.” Boys, on the other hand, well… they are completely opposite for the most part.

As with anything, there are exceptions to ever generality and what is important to note here is that those exceptions occur most often when parents create a home learning environment and schedule that provides a balance between active and quiet learning toys and activities on a regular basis.

Boys tend to have a learning style that requires them to process new ideas through kinesthetic means (touching). Toddler and preschool boys are often defined as ACTIVE and INVESTIGATIVE, CURIOUS and QUICK. Everything needs to be made into a game for boys. Even learning to dress themselves and bathe themselves must be a game. For example, call out a body part for him to wash and then another quickly, etc… Your boys will love it!

Think about the toys that both girls and boys are introduced to at early ages. Girls are given baby dolls, tea sets and Hello Kitty sticker/notebook sets. All of which require nurturing and careful attention to fine motor coordination (hand/finger movements) while playing calmly. Boys are given trucks, cars, balls, trains and anything else they can move with and chase. All of which require crashing, banging, running, jumping and gross motor (large muscle movements) while playing in a robust way.

In a sense, we train our boys to learn actively and use less fine motor movements (limiting their ability to produce superior handwriting, typing, coloring and so much more) while we provide a very different play experience for girls which doesn’t offer them much opportunity for gross motor movements (balance, coordination and physical muscle development good for sports).

Parents often say, “I wish I could get him to settle down some.” The short answer is you can if you provide a calm and settling environment where the materials promote quiet and still play. His schedule should include active and quiet times during the day. The materials for active play are very different from those of quiet play. Re-evaluate your child’s toys, environment and schedule to see where slight changes can help re-focus his mood and energy.

Most importantly, continue to look at your children as individuals. No two children are ever going to be alike and they will not necessarily grow and develop at the same rate. Be positive, praise his and her effort on new tasks and continue to look within yourself for changes that can be made to provide differentiated opportunities to them both.

Sincerely,

Tracey Bryant Stuckey

Chief Creative Learning Officer

www.wigglegigglelearn.com

http://traceybryantstuckey.com